Make Love Not Porn - Porn-influenced views on sex & intimacy

@russfrushtick Sure! I've been very frustrated by the battle my team and I fight every day, not only to raise funding, but to access and put in place the kind of business infrastructure and partnerships startups in every other area can at least take for granted. I've been struck too by how very difficult it is to access expertise when you're a sextech venture. Other entrepreneurs can ask for and benefit from the advice of seasoned VCs/investors, entrepreneurs, brilliant business brains. When you have a sextech startup, a) nobody takes you seriously, and b) nobody even wants to have the conversation. So I am very serious about the fact that, if I can get MakeLoveNotPorn to where I want it to be - doing a shit-ton of good and making a shit-ton of money :) - I would like to start an incubator/accelerator and fund for radically innovative sextech and porn startups. My young friends in the porn industry have brilliant ideas, they're creating their own content, they want to invent the future of porn - but there is no one in that world to mentor, coach, advise, finance and facilitate. MLNP has brought to me many sextech entrepreneurs, some of whom flatteringly say it was seeing the trail MLNP blazed that made them want to start a venture to do with sex. They have all the same issues - can't get funded, can't put payments in place etc. So I'd like to create a vehicle that could provide help, expertise, access, assisted partnerships and collaborations, and funding. And btw, a tiny injection of cash into radically innovative sextech and porn startups has the potential to create returns way beyond many other sectors :)

@cindygallop @russfrushtick have you secured funding or is MLNP still bootstrapped?

@michaelhwan @russfrushtick It took me two years of pitching mlnp.tv to find one angel investor who put up $500k in seed funding to enable us to build the platform and launch it back in 2013. Subsequently both he and I have put more money into the business to help grow it, to the point where we now want to raise a round of funding to enable us to scale rapidly, which after two and a half years of traction we're well positioned to do.

@eriktorenberg Erik - I am absolutely loving this AMA, so grateful to you guys for proving the opportunity, and so thrilled to be getting such terrific questions! I've got a very aggravating issue - I'm dying to keep answering, but the questions are such that I need to answer in some detail, and I regrettably have to head to an immovable commitment (roasting my friend Brad Jakeman of Pepsico who is the AdClub of New York's Advertising Person Of The Year). Can I please continue answering later tonight/tomorrow - would that be OK? I hate to leave questions unanswered and am very keen to have the opportunity to keep doing so!

@cindygallop @eriktorenberg yes! a huge thank you from all of us for joining us :)

@melissajoykong I'm very curious to hear your thoughts here too, Cindy. My parents are twice divorced and each divorce was extremely traumatic for them. Do you have any advice I can provide them on how to find a better partner?

@melissajoykong I have to be honest and say that what you're asking about is not my area of expertise - it is, however, very much the area of expertise of my dear friend Esther Perel whose work I recommend to everyone: http://www.estherperel.com/ But I will say that I do see (in the thousands of emails people write to MLNP, the comments left on makelovenotporn.com and the conversations I've had over the past six and a half years since MLNP launched) that our inability to talk openly and honestly about sex causes immense unhappiness in relationships and marriages. I talk about the fact that what we're tackling with MLNP lies at the heart of many social ills in this piece I wrote on 'What is sextech and why is everyone ignoring it?' for HotTopics: https://www.hottopics.ht/stories... and about its impact on human relationships in this interview I did for TED with sex educator and fellow TED speaker Al Vernacchio: http://ideas.ted.com/sex-lets-talk/ "Our parents bring us to have good manners, a work ethic, a sense of responsibility. Nobody ever brings us up to behave well in bed."

@_danfriedman @melissajoykong Dan - I'm so sorry to hear that. As I said to Melissa, please do check out Esther Perel's work in this context: http://www.estherperel.com/ From my own perspective, I would just say I think it's important to know yourself really well first - who you are, what you believe in, what you value - and then to aim to connect with partners who share the same values. All of my work - and my own life and business philosophies - are about the importance first and foremost of shared values. With MLNP we're building community around shared values to do with sex - something we're never taught to think about in those terms; when I ask people, 'What are your sexual values?' they're usually stumped for an answer. But everything starts with you and your values. My other startup IfWeRanTheWorld is co-action software that enables brands and businesses to implement what I believe is the business model of the future - Shared Values + Shared Action = Shared Profit (financial profit and social profit). I designed MLNP around that business model. So I would say, really think about and identify what your own values are - the values by which you intend to live your life and do your work - and then look for people who share the same values. Because those are the people you will really enjoy being with and benefit from, whether as friends, colleagues or romantic partners.

@rjvir Gosh, Raj, that's a big question! :) Would you mind narrowing it down a bit - advice for men in which area specifically?

@cindygallop @rjvir how about men educating themselves sexually? any syllabi out there? asking for a friend.... (my friend raj)

@colazionearoma I read a lot, so it's quite hard to identify my favorite book at any one time :) but I have to tell you, I cannot rave enough about one of my most recent reads, which is Sarai Walker's 'Dietland': http://www.amazon.com/Dietland-S... This book is not at all what it looks like, and not at all what you may be expecting when you start reading it. Highly recommended for women and men.

@harrystebbings Harry, thank you so much for your kind words! To be honest, my TED talk made the impact it did at TED 2009 because I was talking about, and tackling, one of the most un-talked-about areas of human experience :) But what I always say to people who want to be able to speak well in public is, simply talk about something you feel strongly and are passionate/enthusiastic about, and do so in the same way you would if you were talking about that topic to your friends over dinner. Just keep it informal, genuine, real and enthusiastic, and all of that comes across. I hope that's helpful.

@jacqvon The book has been received extremely well! Do check out the reviews on Amazon - but I also get people writing to me thanking me for it. I get a number of requests for hard copies (a mother wrote to me saying she really wanted her teenage son to read it but she knew the only way would be if she could leave it lying in his room as a hard copy :)) but unfortunately TEDBooks don't do those. :(

@ems_hodge Our single biggest challenge at MLNP advancing the social sex movement, is the social dynamic I call 'Fear of what other people will think'. It's never about what the person I'm talking to thinks (when you understand what we're doing and why we're doing it, nobody can argue with it) - it's always their fear of what they think other people will think, which operates around sex more than any other area. Which, by the way, is the single most paralyzing dynamic in business and in life. It's why I say, you will never own the future if you care what other people think.

@jayzalowitz Are you offering? :)