Are polite users the most dangerous signal for early founders?
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I was rereading parts of The Mom Test, and it reminded me how easy it is to mistake politeness for validation.
Someone says the idea sounds useful, they like the direction, they would “definitely try it,” and maybe they even suggest a few features. It feels like progress, but sometimes they are just being nice.
The dangerous part is that polite feedback does not feel negative. It gives you just enough confidence to keep building without proving whether the problem is actually painful.
I think the harder skill is learning to ignore compliments and look for behavior instead.
How do you tell when users are genuinely interested vs just being polite?
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How do you tell if someone is being great or actually interested? @farrukh_butt1
@thomas_wright2 That’s the tricky part. I don’t think you can tell from the compliment itself. I’d look at what happens after it.
If they start explaining their own use case, ask when they can try it, give specific objections, introduce someone else, or actually take the next step, that feels like interest.
If it ends at “sounds great” and nothing moves after that, I’d treat it as being nice.
This is the lesson that cost me the most. I've done 5 pivots on my current product, and what kept me building the wrong versions too long was exactly this, people telling me they loved it. The polite 'I'd definitely use this' is the most expensive feedback there is, because it feels like a yes and costs them nothing to say.
What finally fixed it for me: I stopped scoring words at all and only counted commitment with a cost. Did they give up something scarce, money, time, a real introduction?
Three things I look for:
1. Past behavior rather than future intent. Ask what they've already done about the problem. If they've built a workaround, paid for a worse tool, or googled it ten times, the pain is real. If they've done nothing, it isn't painful enough, however enthusiastic they sound.
2. Money before the product exists. A pre-order or small deposit separates polite from serious faster than any interview.
3. Unprompted pull. They follow up without you chasing, or introduce you to someone with the same problem. Polite people say something kind and disappear.
The marketer's shortcut I'd add to The Mom Test: skip relying on conversations. Put up a landing page with a real price and a buy button, run $50-100 of cold traffic at it, and watch what strangers with no reason to be nice actually do. A click on 'pay' beats 10 warm 'I'd love this' replies, because behavior can't lie to spare your feelings.
What stage are you at, still in conversations, or do you have something people can put money or time behind?
@nipuntaneja This is a great breakdown, especially the part about commitment having a cost. I think that is where a lot of early validation becomes clearer. Words are easy, but money, time, introductions, or even a follow-up without being chased are much harder to fake.
The landing page test is interesting too because strangers have no reason to protect your feelings. Warm feedback can be useful, but cold behavior probably tells the truth faster.
Right now I’d say I’m more focused on separating interest from actual intent, so conversations are useful, but only if they lead to some kind of next step.
@farrukh_butt1 You've nailed it, and "cold behavior tells the truth faster" is the whole thing.
The one upgrade from where you are: instead of waiting for a conversation to lead to a next step, ask for the costly step inside the conversation, while interest is hot. Most founders end a good call having asked for nothing, so they never test intent. An intro to 2 people with the problem, or a small deposit to hold access, sorts polite from real on the spot.
And only count it once they actually do it. Agreeing to do it later is just a friendlier compliment.
@nipuntaneja That’s a really useful distinction. Agreeing to a next step still feels like intent, but actually completing it is the real signal. I like the idea of asking for the costly step while the interest is fresh instead of letting the conversation end on a vague positive note.
Some times the strongest signal is not enthusiasm but inconvenience. If someone changes their routine, spends money, or gives up time to solve the problem, that tells me far more than a dozen positive conversations ever could.
@alheri_murya Exactly. Inconvenience is a much stronger signal than excitement.
If someone changes how they work, gives up time, or pays before things are perfect, that says more than “sounds great.”
The real question is whether the problem is annoying enough for them to do something about it.
this is so real. the most dangerous feedback I've gotten was "this looks great, I'd totally use this" from people who never came back. now I only trust behavior... did they sign up, did they come back, did they tell someone else. compliments feel good but they don't pay the bills. the hardest part is learning to hear "I love it" and still ask "but would you pay for it"
@tina_chhabra That “never came back” part is usually the real answer. Someone can sound very excited in the moment, but if there is no follow-up, no signup, no second conversation, and no effort from their side, it probably was just a nice reaction.
I also think asking “would you pay for it?” is useful, but watching what they do after that answer is even more useful.
Totally agree. "It sounds useful" is the ultimate trap. The hardest but most crucial skill in user research is separating polite words from actual commitment. If they aren’t investing time, data, or money into your solution right now, it’s just noise. Behavior > compliments.
@yevhen_designer Exactly. “It sounds useful” feels encouraging, but it doesn’t really cost the user anything. The real signal starts when they give time, data, money, or some kind of next step. Behavior makes the feedback much harder to fake.
Receiptor AI
The signal I've found most reliable is what happens during a demo, and what I like to do is let the user try the platform live. They immediately start asking operational questions, already thinking about how to fit it into their life, and this is where the feedback is most valuable I think.
Even if you're in front a polite user, you'll see with him what's working or not, what's easy to understand or not, what friction or "wow moment" he might have.
@luigi_receiptorai That’s a great point. A live demo can reveal things people would never say in a normal feedback call. You can see where they hesitate, what they understand instantly, and whether they start imagining it inside their own workflow. Those operational questions are probably a much stronger signal than “this looks useful.”