I think saying 'No' becomes easy when you are able to articulate it politely and without causing offense.
In my line of work, I have had potential clients lowball me. On one hand, I need their projects, but cannot say yes to move ahead. So, instead of saying 'no, sorry', I say it more politely like "Unfortunately, that does not work for me. Can we do this instead?". It keeps the conversation going while also having conveyed what you needed to say.
@anand_sriniv Yep, definitely find it easier when you can word it in a professional manner. But I think it's still important to be able to say "no" in a more direct manner.
The professionalism make work in a business environment, but for other areas in your life, it may be better to just be more direct.
@anand_sriniv I find it hard to say no, and I think you articulated it well when you said that the fear of saying no is usually due to fear or offending someone.
@anoirhoumou Kindness and empathy over anything! Thanks for the response, Anoir.
Report
It's hard to know how to say "no". I believe you need to have your values and know yourself well to know how to say "no".
Report
@joanduarte True that! And Good luck for your Launch, Joan! I'll be supporting for the success of DL3ARN.
Report
I think I just learned it over time based on certain realisation about life. The way I see it, I can’t make everyone happy so when I say NO, I’m okay with people being disappointed (it’s only for a short time anyway) - life goes on. And vice versa if people say no to me, it happens and if it’s worth it I’ll keep going till I can get a yes
Report
@moeky Right! It's the understanding that the people around have got on you and it should always be mutual. Good one, Moeky!
Report
@kaushik_vikram_balaji yes exactly. It can be pretty tough because initially you get that sad feeling of “oh I hope they aren’t upset” - then you realise in life you’re never not going to upset people, so it is what it is.
@wedo1 True! It takes so much time. But once we get that right, it's a happy ride from then on.
Report
Still learning, but it's definitely really important :)
Report
@arpan_011 We all our learners, Arpan! Don't worry, it's just the matter of time. Look at this comment section. There are some real good points that will help.
Report
tell your honest reasons why you're saying NO and sometimes people rework on their side and give you better stuff.
Report
@iam_sathya Right! Curious to know the people's willingness to rework after your no. Are they ready for it?
Report
@kaushik_vikram_balaji it depends on case by case. Based on the other person's need/want/goals they will show the interest. Like if the other have the great leverage or outcome they will pursue and tend to rework multiple times.
Report
Short answer is - the hard way.
Saying "No" doesn't come naturally to any of us. We say yes to most anything, something's work out and most don't.
It's only when I looked closer with an intent to find out why am I being unproductive or not making progress - is I realised I wasn't valuing my time, attention, and purpose correctly. My focus was wavering.
The problem is one can read all the books, anecdotes from others, create frameworks - but it is only through personal experience that you learn the art of saying no. Because it is NOT the outside world that forces you to say yes, it is your voice from inside.
To say "No" to something you need to first have a perspective about it. You will have a perspective on it if you have cared about the subject enough. 🧐
So start caring about what you are building, who you are building it for, and why are you building it. 🧘♂️
When you do, you will have your opinions and will be able to meaningfully answer with a "yes" or a "no".
@kaushik_vikram_balaji I'm launching Roundup today! 😁 I would love to hear your feedback 🙏
Report
@manas_sharma Hey, I'm excited. Sure, I'll be supporting Roundup today.
Report
I struggled for a long time until I joined Mckinsey, and they taught me a framework mostly to deal with demanding situations.
Might look like I plug but just sharing as its fitting. I wrote extensively about it here:
https://twitter.com/supermode_/s...
Report
@vidit This is amazing! Thanks for sharing the thread, Vidit. Really helpful and I'm sharing it with my folks now.
Replies
Evoke
Flamme – The AI Couples App
Wedo
Roundup
Roundup