How do you manage to focus on your work when so many things are falling apart?
It's a rule that when one aspect of life is going well, the others are somehow failing.
At the moment, things couldn't be better on the work front:
I have a great team, and the company is doing well.
I'm praised for the results I deliver and the progress I'm making.
My networks are growing, and there's more and more interest in my sponsorships.
More people want to work together.
And I'm co-organising 2 offline events.
But suddenly, for some reason, other things start to go wrong, e.g. a family member ends up in the hospital, there are also a lot of negative things in the news affecting my country and indirectly me and my focus, etc.
Suddenly, it's impossible to fully concentrate all that energy on your work when the negativity from your personal life spills over into your work life.
How do you cope with personal negatives that affect your work life and work efficiency?
Basics that have helped me so far, but still trying to find more:
• Join a running club (I usually exercise alone on my own, but now I need people)
• Attend offline events
• Have a family (also through taking turns with a sick member in the hospital)
Replies
It’s a layer cake. I believe one layer to aim for is faith and gratitude. How blessed are we to be conscious at all. How lucky are we to be tempered by this beautiful, murderous... crucible of a place. Even if we face it alone, we face it alone together.
A fun thought exercise is to define paradise. What does that look like to most of us? We might say, less time on our phones, more around friends and family. Pets are great. Eat more simply. Couches are comfortable, keep those for sure. And the more we list it off, the more we realize how close it already is. Wandering into paradise might not help but it definitely doesn't make things worse.
Cal ID
It’s a hard balance for sure.
What’s helps me is carving out small, intentional “focus pockets”. Even just 30 minutes of deep work in my day when things feel chaotic. It’s not about monastic focus, but creating moments just for work to reset the state of mind.
Also, shifting perspective with practices like zooming out to the bigger picture like @sheraz_abdul_hayee mentioned, helps.
Community really matters too. I'm a musician by heart, so I've replaced the community part with just playing or making music, really feels like it picks me up from a pit I've fallen into, but joining groups like running clubs or offline events adds a human connection that recharges energy.
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@sheraz_abdul_hayee @sanskarix I am so happy to have such a great supporting community! :) TY!
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@sheraz_abdul_hayee Which Middle East Region do you mean now? Because we now have the struggle related to drones among Russia, Belarus, and Poland. That is really close to me.
I focus on what I can control. While I can't influence something as large as preventing a war or bringing it to a quick end, I can focus on my business.
This gives me a sense of stability and control.
The positive results - like getting a blog post to the top of Google or achieving a high Crunchbase Heat Score - bring a much-needed sense of positivity right now.
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@tetianavoronina You are right, I should focus on my little steps that improve my inner world. Only then can I contribute to the external world with positivity.
I’ve felt this a lot. For me, when things get rough personally, I stop expecting myself to operate at 100%. Instead, I shrink my focus. I pick just a couple of things at work that truly move the needle and let the smaller stuff wait.
I also lean on my team more during those times and remind myself it’s okay if I’m not the strong one every single day. What helps is giving space to the personal chaos rather than pretending it isn’t there. Strangely, the moment I allow that, the work side feels lighter too.
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@atique_bandukwala1 So basically, when you feel down, you are more likely to socialise more? 😄 That reminds me... me :D
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@atique_bandukwala1 Seems legit. I usually need someone optimistic by my side as I am the pessimist :D
@busmark_w_nika Same here! I think being a pessimist is underrated...Zero expectations means no heartbreak and when things go well, it’s like a double win.
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@atique_bandukwala1 Both sides are needed because pessimists see possible threats and wanna prevent them by offering solutions.
Triforce Todos
I’ve started blocking a small chunk of time on my calendar when things get heavy. Even half an hour makes a difference.
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@abod_rehman woah, that reminded me of one guy who once shared the video. He said: "Take your calendar and block out most of your days in the week – this is the free time you can use, and now, gradually add some 'work activities' that are not necessary." It was a great psychological exercise :)
As a lifelong entrepreneur, I've found this challenge perpetually true. Instead of carving out time to take a moment for the distraction of what's going well, I carve out time to be present (including grieving) with what's going poorly - not the required time of dealing with the situation, but time to think about it deeply, alone.
For personal challenges, I think there's something deeply powerful in acceptance, as heart wrenching as it can be. I take the necessary time to manage the situation to the best of my ability and not beyond. When what I'm capable of doing reaches an impasse, I put it down (mentally) and get to work. I exhaust my potential to impact the negative, and then exhaust my potential in the positive. And that keeps me going.
For world challenges, I reassure myself that I'm doing important work that will make a difference and that not immersing myself in all of the current struggles will not make me ignorant, but will allow me to focus on that important work. I limit my daily "stay informed and act" time to that which is sustainable. It's a discipline.
Energy and peace to you, Nika. Thank you for talking about the hard things.
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@felicite Thank you, Felicite, for such kind words :)
Sorry if below response has nothing related with tech, tho I personally do believe below without being a monk necessarily.
The internal belief will relief all the pain. The Diamond Sutra really said it all.
"All conditioned phenomena are like a dream, an illusion, a bubble, a shadow, like dew, or a flash of lightning; thus should you perceive them. "
This does not necessarily triggers nihilism thoughts, in fact it does showing that life is just a game and we are just playing "earth online" game, which also means from positive side, everything happened for a reason, leading to something else more extraordinary(could be better or worse tho and the key is it depends on how we treat the things that are happening right now).
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@rickyguo My only hope that "after that" something better comes :)
I've always found that different parts of your life have ups and downs. It's rare for everything to be a 10/10. Sometimes different parts of your life are f**king great, while other parts are not so wonderful. It sounds like you're going through a lot in the background, and i'd just say it's 100% ok to be distracted and less efficient. Asking for help and looking for support is sometimes hard, but it's the best way to bounce back quickly.
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@mcval_osborne I have one issue – I have a problem asking for help (but working on that) :D
I won’t lie to you, Nika, but there is no balance.
It’s all about focus. Sometimes the focus is entirely on the business, sometimes it’s entirely on the family. When my son was born, he had a health issue. That meant work had to take a back seat during the first weeks. And let’s be honest, it happens to everyone. If there are problems in the family, they come first.
The reverse is also true. I’ve had problems with work. Then my loved ones had to put up with a lack of attention.
The important thing is that this shouldn’t be permanent. It’s normal that in different periods the focus is on different things. If the focus is always only on one side, the other will eventually break.
What helps me personally are my different interests and hobbies, my friends both online and offline, as well as the many activities I’m involved in. When you’re juggling a hundred things, it can never be perfect, but it can’t be terrible either. :lol:
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@byalexai you always know what to say. Always wise words that make me feel better, thank you Alex :)