Sintorio - 1-hour podcasts to viral shorts in <2 mins. GPU-Native.

Hey Product Hunt — Jonas here. I used to run a content agency. Three editors, dozens of clients, and a constant stream of 2-hour podcast recordings that needed to become TikToks by Thursday. The workflow was always the same: upload to an AI clipper, wait 20-40 minutes in a queue, get back 15 clips where half were mid-sentence cuts, manually re-edit the usable ones, repeat. I kept thinking: the AI isn't slow. The infrastructure is slow. These tools are just wrappers around shared cloud GPUs — your video sits behind hundreds of other jobs. So I built Sintorio on hardware I actually own. RTX 5090s (Blackwell architecture) running from my own setup. Not a data center. Not a cloud provider. Literally my own GPUs. No shared queues. No middlemen. Every job gets a dedicated GPU the moment it arrives. The three features I'm most proud of: 1. HypeMeter™ — This isn't a vanity score. Every clip gets analyzed across 4 dimensions (Hook, Emotion, Shareability, Uniqueness) and benchmarked against patterns from real viral content. The scoring adapts per content type — comedy weights emotion differently than a business podcast. Anything below 75 gets auto-rejected. You only see clips that are actually worth posting. 2. Vident™ — Most clippers find moments. Vident tells you what the market actually wants right now. It tracks 20+ niches daily, surfaces viral outliers, gives you saturation scores (so you know which angles are overcrowded), and generates ready-to-use hooks and strategies. It's the difference between "here's a clip" and "here's a clip the algorithm will actually push." 3. Signature™ — When I was running the agency, the worst part was re-doing caption styles for every client. Signature lets you save brand templates (fonts, colors, positioning, safe zones) and apply them with one click. Run 10 clients without touching settings once. The whole thing processes a 1-hour video into scored, branded clips in under 2 minutes. I'd love to prove it — drop a YouTube link in the comments and I'll run it live. To celebrate launch, the Lifetime Deal is open: €79 for the first 100 spots (600 credits/month forever — same as the €29/mo Starter plan). Every sale directly funds the next GPU rack. No investors. No board. Just me, a room full of GPUs, and a lot of coffee. I'd love your upvote, but even more — I want your hardest questions. This is real infrastructure, not an API wrapper, and I'm happy to open the hood on any technical detail. — Jonas