The day I realized my "competitor" was actually just a person sitting alone in their apartment

I spent months obsessing over a competitor. Checking their site, their pricing, their features, their Twitter. Every time they shipped something, I felt a pit in my stomach. Every time they got a customer, I imagined them celebrating while I sat there failing.

Then I met the founder at a small online event. Just the two of us in a breakout room.

He looked tired. He admitted he was struggling. He said he'd been watching MY product and feeling the same way about ME. We both laughed, kind of nervously, and then talked for an hour about how hard this all is.

I'd built this whole villain narrative in my head. The successful competitor who was crushing me. But he was just another person, scared and unsure, doing his best, comparing himself to someone else.

I still check his site sometimes. But now I feel something closer to solidarity than envy.

Have you ever actually talked to someone you saw as a competitor? Did it change how you felt? Or do you prefer keeping that distance?