81% of founders never tell anyone what's actually stressing them out

A founder coach who surveyed hundreds of builders said something that stuck with me: every single person she interviewed used the word "lonely."

That really stopped me.

Because it's not just one type of founder or one stage. It's across the board. And when you look at the data it makes sense. 81% of founders are not open with the people in their lives about what is actually stressing them out. 90% aren't honest with their investors. Co-founders are too close. Employees depend on you. Friends care but don't quite get it.

So the stress just... stays inside. And loneliness compounds on itself.

I've been thinking a lot lately about why "building in public" hasn't really solved this even though it sounds like it should. There's a version of it that helps, where you genuinely share the mess and people show up. But there's another version that's still performance. You're narrating the journey but not actually letting anyone in.

The founders I've seen manage this best don't have huge audiences or fancy networks. They have one or two people they can actually be honest with. Peers, not mentors. People in it too, with nothing to gain from your polished story.

I'm building in the loneliness and social connection space so I think about this constantly. But I'm also genuinely asking: how did you find that person, or those people? Did it happen naturally or did you have to deliberately create it?

Or are you mostly still carrying it alone?