Count Binface Race to the Count
Free seaside platformer — smash vans, race to the count
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Count Binface Race to the Count - Free seaside platformer — smash vans, race to the count

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Count Binface: Race to the Count is a free browser platformer set on the British seaside. Play as the Count: double-jump along the pier collecting ballot papers, smash the price-gouging 99p ice cream van, dodge Punch & Judy's flying boxing gloves, stomp crabs, splat giant slot-machine cherries, grab flight and invincibility power-ups, and dunk a water-company executive — all the way to the count. No download, no ads, no sign-up. Plays on phone or desktop. Unofficial fan-made parody.

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Hello Product Hunt! 👋🗑️ I'm a solo dev and I built this over a few weeks as a love letter to the great British seaside — and to Count Binface, the bin-headed satirical candidate currently standing in the Clacton by-election (and, remarkably, polling ahead of the competition). It's a full HTML5 platformer built with Phaser: four levels, an original ElevenLabs soundtrack, a Star Wars-style opening crawl, and a working teletext quiz show between levels. Everything runs in the browser — no download, no ads, no sign-up, nothing to install. Just jump on things. It's an unofficial fan-made parody, made for zero revenue. Would love to hear what you think — and if you get past the ice cream van, do let me know how you found Mr Punch.