Gumroad

I built this because I got tired of 3 AM alerts that could have been prevented. After years of managing Postgres clusters, I noticed the same pattern: problems like transaction ID wraparound, silent index bloat, or forgotten superuser accounts would creep up unnoticed until they became emergencies. The existing solutions never felt right. SaaS monitoring tools are expensive and require sending your data externally. Community scripts are scattered, outdated, and need constant copy-pasting. I wanted something that lived inside the database itself zero dependencies, zero subscriptions, just SQL. So I built v1 as a personal toolkit. It worked so well that colleagues started asking for it. V2.0: instead of running a script once, you install a stored function that becomes part of your database. You can query health_summary anytime, or hook has_critical_alerts() directly into Datadog, Nagios, or whatever you already use. 70+ checks. One install. Complete peace of mind. I'd love to hear how you currently monitor your Postgres clusters and what metrics keep you up at night!