Your Pitch Is Too Complicated... Here’s How to Fix It (Plus a16z Template)
Hey everyone,
I've been doing a lot of pitching recently.
I went to Web Summit where I got pitched at a lot.
And my LinkedIn inbox is non-stop infinity loops of pitching at me.
= Therefore, I've been thinking about the topic a lot!
I think it's fair and obvious to say, some people can communicate better than others. It's an art. I can't dance either, it's just life.
The shame is that some brilliant products seem to get abstracted behind jargon and bad comms.
I started my career in tech PR when you had to call busy tech journalists and pitch your story - you learn fast how to be clear and succinct, or risk getting $hitposted on Twitter (true story, the Guardian tech correspondent once called my pitch the 'straw that broke the camels back' online...).
Well, I learned the hard way and wrote a piece about it. I must have hit the algo as a few days later I got a really helpful template from an a16z VC on LinkedIn. I've copied and pasted it below.
My framework is more conceptual to help with the contents, but the VC one is turnkey and hopefully you can begin to use from tomorrow.
Good luck!
Dan
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Know Your Audience
When you’re writing a LinkedIn pitch, a cold email to a VC, or an ad for your product - think about who you’re talking to.
It’ll instantly change how you write.
If it’s a LinkedIn message, check their profile. Who are they? What’s their background?
I can’t tell you how many pitches I get that are completely irrelevant, clearly copied and pasted, expecting a reply.
When the stakes are higher - funding, partnerships, sales - do the upstream work. It always pays off.
Right now, I have a story for Meet-Ting for investors, another for enterprise customers, one for prosumers, one for my team, and one I share with my co-founder.
It’s all the same essence - but the words and framing shift depending on who I’m talking to, and why they might care.
Pitch With Context
Once you know who they are, add some relevance. Yep, that means doing a bit more homework.
If I’m pitching a journalist, I read their recent stories. I might write: “Hey [Name], I saw you covered [similar startup]. We’re tackling the same space but from a fresh angle - mind if I share our media alert?”
For VCs, I’ll reference their thesis or a recent investment. For users, I speak to their pain points, in their language.
Context is everything. If you’re selling luxury in a downturn, you’re not reading the room.
Here’s what a great cold pitch looks like for me right now: “Hey Dan, saw you founded Meet-Ting. I assume your biggest competitor is Calendly. Using our tool, I found XXX interesting insight about them that might help you. Want to see how we could surface more like that?”
That message nails it: they’ve done their homework, they understand my business, they offer value upfront. It’s not “Hey, I sell this, it’s really cool. Trust me.”
I promise, this approach lands better. The reader feels respected.
Keep It Dumb Simple
We’re all hyper-distracted. Everyone’s busy, thinking about themselves, scrolling, worrying, all the emotions, at any given moment.
So make your product instantly clear.
If it takes effort to understand, you’ve lost.
Use simple frameworks: “I make [product] for [audience] so they can [benefit].”
Or use a frame of reference: “It’s Taken meets Mission Impossible” (film), or “We’re Lovable for video games” (startup).
These work because they help people place you fast. They should trigger instant recognition if the audience is right.
You have seconds, whether someone’s walking past your booth or scrolling a WhatsApp thread. Make it short, super clear and dumb simple.
a16z Template (quoted from LinkedIn)
— send a fresh email, subject "intro: [my name (company)] <> [investor I want to meet's name]"
— start the email: "thanks for offering to intro me to X. I'd particularly love to chat to them for ABC reason" (do your research, try to be specific).
— Include four bullet points. No more, no less.
— Each bullet is one sentence, maybe two... but it's not an excuse to write a paragraph.
What does your company do, what problem are you trying to solve?
What traction do you have, or how do you know it's working? Why is this notable?
Who is your team, why are they the right people for the job? What notable past experiences do they have?
What's your fundraise status — past & future plans?
"raising a seed round, targeting ~$X. ~$Y committed so far, led by ABC. Prev raised ~$Y from D, E, and F."
Fourth bullet can be hard to get right... highly dependent on where you're at in your journey... maybe you're just testing the waters on the round, in which case say that — "planning to go out for a seed round next month." If you list investors as committed/previously invested, make sure they actually are (and if past, are ideally investing again) because someone will probably ask them. I'm usually happy to iterate with you a few times before fwding.
Do you add a deck or Docsend link? maybe... If it's really good, sure. I think ideally the four bullets speak for themselves and get you the intro; you attach the deck to the first email when I add you into the chain. Judgement call.
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