Dating apps make you audition. Matchmakers cost thousands. We’re building a third option.

Dating apps and traditional matchmakers fail people in opposite ways.

Dating apps give you enormous volume—but often judge you on a photo before you get a chance to speak.

Human matchmakers can offer thoughtful introductions—but commonly cost $5,000 to $30,000+ and cannot scale beyond the number of clients each matchmaker can personally handle.

We kept asking: What should exist between those two extremes?

“Can we take a very expensive product and make it scalable?”
— Sarmed, InTimid user interview

That is what we’re trying to build with InTimid.

No profile to write. No swiping. A real introduction.

Instead of asking you to perform through photos, prompts and a clever bio, InTimid asks you to just talk with kAI, our conversational intake agent.

Across a series of guided conversations we call Sessions, kAI learns about your:

• values and relationship goals

• communication and conflict styles

• lifestyle and social energy

• emotional needs

• preferences and dealbreakers

• experiences that shaped what you want now

The conversations can follow threads, ask for clarification and explore the answer behind the checkbox.

“Takes the legwork out of being suave and cool on your profile. Makes you more honest.”
— Suzie, InTimid user interview

From those Sessions, InTimid builds a structured compatibility profile.

Our early matches are then reviewed by a human (Yours truly), rather than released automatically because two people crossed an arbitrary score. #HumanInTheLoop

There is no catalog of people to browse and no stack of faces to swipe through.

1. kAI gets to know you.

2. InTimid identifies a potentially compatible introduction.

3. A human reviews the proposed match.

4. Both people independently decide whether to connect.

5. Contact opens only after mutual consent.

Every InTimid user must pass mandatory identity and age verification. No exceptions.

Verification helps us create a safer space for everyone. It raises the barrier against:

• 🤖 Bots and automated accounts

• 🎭 Fake identities and catfish profiles

• 📣 OnlyFans and other promotional accounts

• 🪙 Crypto pitches and financial scams

• 🚫 Unsolicited selling and solicitation

No verification system can guarantee perfect behavior. But mandatory verification, curated introductions and mutual consent make it significantly harder for dishonest accounts to participate.

https://withpersona.com

Live Government ID check for safety, security and accountability!

An avatar that looks like you—and learns who you are

Most dating apps begin with the same stressful assignment:

Which photo makes me look attractive enough to be noticed?

Am I too heavy? Too old? Not smiling enough? What should I wear? Is this really the version of me I want strangers judging?

InTimid takes a different approach.

Our avatars are generated from your verified appearance and the context kAI learns about you through conversation—your personality, interests, style and the moments that matter to you.

They are not beauty filters designed to turn you into someone else.

They are context-aware interpretations of the real, verified you.

How it works

1. You pass mandatory identity verification.

2. You talk with kAI and complete an intake session.

3. InTimid generates three personalized avatars.

4. You choose which avatar represents you in the app.

5. Complete another session and receive three more options.

The more kAI learns, the more personal the images can become.

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Yours to keep—free

Every avatar can also be downloaded to your Phone at no cost.

Use it anywhere you want:

• Facebook

• Instagram

• WhatsApp

• messaging profiles

• online communities

• anywhere sharing a real photograph feels too personal

Less self-judgment. More of what is inside.

The avatar still resembles you. It does not erase your identity or manufacture a fake person.

What it removes is the exhausting, unhelpful part of choosing a dating photo:

• Do I look too fat?

• Am I attractive enough?

• Should I smile more?

• Is the lighting flattering?

• What am I supposed to wear?

Your appearance remains part of the picture—but it no longer has to be the entire story.

You are still recognizable. The self-deprecation is not.

Less pressure to perform. More room to show who you are.

Your personal information stays personal

You should not need to give a stranger your phone number, email address or social profilejust to discover whether there is a real connection.

InTimid includes:

• Free in-app messaging (including emojis, file attachments)

  

• Free in-app audio calling

  

• Free in-app video calling

  

You can get to know your match while keeping your personal contact information private.

No public inbox. No messages from random strangers. No need to reveal your personal contact information.

You decide who you speak with—and what you share.

Why we built it

I’m an introvert who spent roughly 20 years dating in Los Angeles.

Swipe apps made dating feel like an audition in which the first—and sometimes only—test was the photo. I also spent three years as a client of a traditional matchmaking service. It arranged three dates, but none led to a second date.

The service could get me into the room. It had not spent enough time understanding me to make the room matter.

That experience became the thesis behind InTimid:

Ideally, you do not need hundreds of matches. You need one that fits.

Our early research repeatedly showed the same frustration.

“Within one second, you’re like, ‘No, that whole person’s trash.’”
— Charles, describing swipe culture

And people wanted a pool built around real relationship intent:

“People who use this app genuinely want to find a boyfriend or girlfriend. They’re not there for a one-time thing. They’re really putting their personality out there.”
— Allison, InTimid user interview

Our Los Angeles beta opens in early September

The first beta will be completely free.

We’re centering the initial pool on:

• Los Angeles

• Orange County

• the broader Greater LA area

• anyone within a reasonable driving distance of 1hr for a real date

If you are in San Diego, San Francisco or elsewhere and would genuinely travel for a promising introduction, you are welcome to participate. Just know that early matching will be centered on Southern California, so it may take longer outside the region.

We especially want to hear from relationship-intentional introverts and people returning to dating after divorce, loss or parenthood. InTimid welcomes all genders, identities and orientations.

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Help us build the alternative

This beta is not a victory lap. It is where we test the questions that matter:

• Will people complete a deeper conversational intake?

• Does it make them feel understood?

• Can we create better introductions than a swipe?

• Can AI make thoughtful matchmaking accessible without removing human judgment?

Our Product Hunt launch is scheduled for September 11. If this problem resonates with you, please follow InTimid here on Product Hunt so you receive the launch update.

And I would genuinely like to hear from you in the comments:

What has been the most frustrating part of online dating—and what would an introduction need to include for you to take it seriously?

We’ll use the responses to shape the beta.

Follow the product. Join the conversation. Help us build something between swiping and a $10,000 matchmaker.

— Andy da Costa
Founder & CEO, InTimid

reach out directly: andy@intimid.net I read every mail personally, not AI, not an assistant, me!