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How do you separate your personal life from your work life?

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When you're a 9-5 employee, it's relatively easy to determine when your work starts and ends.

But what about when you work for yourself?

Single people probably have no boundaries in this, but a completely different scenario occurs when you have a family.

As entrepreneurs with a family, how do you arrange your work and free time?

The two most common scenarios that I personally see are:

That entrepreneurs either don't have that family, or if they have one, they have adapted their flexible work life to the 9 to 5 regime as well.

BTW, this "work-life balance" topic is well depicted in the series directed by Ben Stiller.

P.S. Happy Mother's Day! 🙂

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Hey Nika,

As someone who is working remotely, I’ve learned that boundaries aren’t just about time—they’re about mental space. I try to set a clear “end” to my workday, but more importantly, I protect my headspace by having non-negotiable habits.

For me, this looks like:

Dedicated work hours: Even though I have flexible work, I set a start and end time to maintain discipline.

Transition rituals: A quick walk, a cup of tea, or even just switching my workspace helps my mind shift.

Phone settings: I use focus modes to block notifications and separate work apps.

Family or not, I think the key is recognizing that “free time” isn’t just about not working—it’s about genuinely being present in whatever you choose to do.

 absolutely. And not only mental space, it's also valid for physical location and family boundaries. It's so easy to always get someone asking you to do a lot of different things and getting interrupted in your focus time when you are physically close to your loved ones.

This is also difficult to disconnect when you are working for your own, because it gets you in your guts.

Anyway, for the time related question, this is a mix between habits and discipline. You get used to this. In the long run, you will probably do a 9-5 or little more, but you can also easily decide to work on a sunday and getting a break the next monday, without having to justify anything to anyone.

 Yes, so well said, Brice.

The “physical closeness” part really hit. Just because you're home doesn't mean you're available, but it’s hard to communicate that without guilt or friction.

And you’re right , the discipline doesn’t come from rules, it comes from practice. Still figuring that rhythm out. Appreciate the perspective.

   For some folks, it is easy – as fast as you leave the office, you cannot be bothered by work anymore.

   Haha yes, I envy those people sometimes!

But for many of us, especially when work follows us home (or is at home), that clean break doesn’t really exist.

The real challenge isn’t just leaving work — it’s getting your mind to leave with you.

 So do you somehow cut your time into several working times blocks or do you work in a "not-disturbed" timeframe?

 I do a mix—focused time blocks for most tasks and "not-disturbed" mode for deep work. It keeps me productive without burning out.

What works best for you?

 To be honest, I do not have a very clear work-life balance. I work every day, but the amount of work is very disproportionate. :D sometimes 7 hours, sometimes 2 :D

 I hear you — the unevenness of workload can be tricky.

I usually end up working 50+ hours a week, so I rely a lot on structure and boundaries to stay focused and actually move things forward.

It’s not always perfect, but consistency helps me avoid burning out or stalling.

Really appreciate how openly you’re sharing your rhythm — there’s no one-size-fits-all.

 Absolutely agree! Whether freelancing or working remotely, it is essential to establish clear boundaries for work, with time management being particularly crucial. Without well-defined boundaries, our sense of responsibility might unconsciously drive us to work endlessly, causing us to neglect the time we should dedicate to truly living our lives. In reality, only those who genuinely live can gain more ideas, creativity, and concepts—insights that can, in turn, be better applied to their work.

 I absolutely loved this — especially that last line.

It’s so easy to forget that creativity comes from living, not just working harder.

I’m going to try to hold onto that and build it into how I work too. Thank you for sharing this so beautifully.

 That is very smart. With remote work, what ends up happening is the person works all day long. And it doesn't even have to be productive work. Setting hours makes a person take those hours seriously.

 Exactly — when there’s no end time, the day just stretches… and not in a good way.

Setting hours gives structure and urgency. It forces me to ask: “What actually needs to get done today?” instead of just staying busy.

Appreciate you calling that out.

Aghh well. I don't🥲 My work life is my personal life.

 How do you relax then? :D By work? :D

Hey Nika, great question—and Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers and parents out there!

As a remote software engineer, I was pulling 10+hour days for my employer and then burning the nights and weekends building my product (shameless plug incoming 3, 2, 1).... , it seemed I was forever “in” my home office. My two-year-old daughter was physically there, but mentally I was still deep in my computer sprint planning, prepping for release demos, or literally coordinating our production releases way to often, it took a huge toll on me and my family. The once 9-5 turned more into a 7-7's, 9-10's etc, it was becoming a burden all to be recognized or get a "Good job Larry" from my peers.

Finally, I realized...if I’m devoting all that time to someone else’s product, why not invest it in my own... at the end of the day I have the capabilities, the drive, the ideas....why not? and really be present for my family? Even after my company counter-offered with a pay bump, extra time off, and a week off post-resignation it seemed out of pure desperation of losing me, I stuck to my guns. I left my six-figure Senior SWE role to reclaim work-life balance and bring my dream to life. I can always find another job, but the window to build something meaningful, and be there for my daughter, well...."is finite".

"Comfort kills more dreams than failure ever will."

 Oh, this is a strong story. Aren't you feeling guilty that your 2-year-old daughter saw you at the desk typing on a computer? Because the little ones are able to copy us in behaviour patterns. 🙈

Yes I was secretly hoping to inspire her to be a super programmer and help dada when she got older build super intelligence as a father/daughter duo. But then realized that was a bit selfish on my part and should probably stick to learning the basics like colors and letters…..and play with her little princess dolls with her she o loves so dearly….😁

 Hahaha, I feel your intentions. To have an intelligent baby is the goal, but I remember the first things I tried on the computer were drawing houses and writing poems. But you can show her some stuff related to UX/UI – how to change colour in the code and show how the page looks then :D

I'm an independent developer. For a long time, I couldn't distinguish between my life and work. As a result, my partner had a lot of complaints. She felt that it was the same whether I was around or not. She expressed many times that she was frustrated, sad and lonely. Now I've deeply realized that work is indeed a part of life, but it shouldn't be everything. The life with family and friends is the most important. So, I've now tried to force myself to set aside a whole period of time to accompany my family, and it's obviously much better. I hope everyone can enjoy their lives too ~

 Kudos to you for sharing this so openly. That line — “it was the same whether I was around or not” — really hit.

It’s a tough realisation, but such an important one. Work can take over without us even noticing.

Glad to hear things are better now, and totally agree — being present with the people who matter is the real work.

 This is a huge problem. I think this is a kind of workaholism. Computers give us more opportunities to "waste time on work" instead of being with friends and family. I think that even if you weren't a developer, you would find something to work on.

work IS a huge part of my life, it gives me purpose, so working a lot makes me happy (assuming I'm generating results).

My boundaries kind of set themselves naturally because I can be productive for only so long each day. I'm firing on all cylinders from like 6am to noon, then a steady decline starts.

By 4ish, work becomes less enjoyable because I start sucking at it, so I naturally start to wind down the work day between 4 and 6. Yes I'll work later if something requires it, but that's rarely the case because of how productive I am during my core work hours.

Quick tactical thing - I use the setting of tomorrow's TODO list as my "closing the workday" ritual. It serves as a logical transition point from work to not work.

I also try to take at least 1 day off with zero caffeine every week. When I don't do this, burn out starts to creep in so clearly.

 Interesting routine. I also try to optimise myself to work at times when I feel that I have a lot of energy. But I am not always successful.

 Me neither! Helps to celebrate the win days and acknowledge the down days are a part of the journey.

When its hard to generates new ideas and features, i know thats its time for family hah

 I think that in this case, i wouldn't work at all :D

I am considering becoming a freelancer, and the foreseeable challenge lies in managing time and energy effectively. Many of the points in this post are incredibly helpful!

 What services do you want to offer as a freelancer?

 I'm good at growth and user operations, but I'm also trying to run my own social media overseas. Plus I'm really into indie AI development - I've made some small tools already and will explore more.

 What are your socials (or at least platforms you are the most proud of?)

  Xiaohognshu and WeChat Official Account.

Honestly, I’m still figuring it out. 😅 I have learned that separating physically doesn’t always mean you’re separating mentally. I used to think closing my laptop was enough… but my brain would still be debugging code at dinner 🥺

 
*Hamza is chewing his dinner dish.

*Meanwhile, Hamza in his head: "The bug is on line 229." :DDD

 Does it only happen with me? 😂

 No, we all have some struggles :D

 Haha the struggle is real 😅

Hi Nika, for me, it's simpler. 5 hours a day, and Saturdays are for my family.

 So Sundays are workdays too? 👀

 most of the time yes

As a bootstrapped founder, family actually helps me to switch more easily from "work" to "free time". Yes, I quite often think about work also during my free time, but don't find it stressful or conflicting with my presence. I usually let the thought go and know that it will come back later. If I have an idea or a bigger thought pop up in my mind, I write it down in my notebook (actual notebook), and come back to it the next day.

 Just to clarify myself: Do you have 9-5 job + boostrapping own business or are you solely business owner:

Ah, I'm a business owner, bootstrapped solo-founder and builder 🙂

 Cool! I can see you are launching soon! :) When? :)

 Yes, I am 😊 On 17th, so very soon!

 Then hit me with the message :D

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