Safety features add friction. How much is too much?

Hi PH 👋 I'm Lisa, founder of MyVill.

My path here wasn't typical. I'm a military spouse and the mother of a gunshot survivor. After what happened to my son, I couldn't stop thinking about how the platforms our kids live on are designed for engagement, not protection. So I started building the thing I wished existed: a private "village" where families connect — grandparents, kids, cousins — with no strangers, no algorithmic feed chasing outrage, and no ads targeting children.

Where we are today: 🏡 The software platform is live — we ran a pilot with 40 families and kept 98% of them month over month 🔒 COPPA-compliant child accounts with parent-managed logins (no phone numbers, no public discovery) 📱 A dedicated kids' phone is in the patent-filing and specification phase (not manufactured yet — I'm careful not to overclaim)

Here's the honest tension I keep wrestling with, and I'd love this community's take:

Every "safety layer" you add is friction. Every friction point makes a product less delightful. Where's the line?

Parents tell me they want total control. Kids (and honestly, grandparents) just want the thing to be easy and fun. When I over-index on safety, engagement drops. When I loosen up, I betray the entire reason I started.

For those of you building consumer products — especially anything involving kids, health, or money — how do you decide which guardrails are non-negotiable versus which ones you let users opt into? Any examples of products you think nail this balance?

I'll be in the comments all day and genuinely want to learn from how others have handled this. 🙏