The Question I Ask Before I Give Anyone Advice

I have started asking one thing before I give anyone advice about their product. Do you want me to help you think, or do you want me to tell you what I would do?

They are completely different conversations and most of the time people want one and receive the other.

The first kind takes longer. I ask questions, I reflect things back, I stay out of the way. The second is fast and satisfying and almost always useless, because my situation is not their situation and I am giving them my answer to my own problem.

The strange part is that most people ask for the first kind and get the second kind from everyone, including from me until I started checking.

I also notice how much I want to be told what to do when I am stuck. I want the fast answer. But the answer that actually moved me every single time was the one I found myself, after someone helped me think.

Which kind do you actually want when you ask for help? And which kind do you give?