Exit-intent popup: helpful or hostile?

The data says it works. It recovers abandoned carts, captures emails, and lifts conversion by a number I can't argue with.

The feeling says I'm chasing someone out the door and yelling at them on the way out.

It works on me maybe one time in twenty, and the other nineteen I resent it and remember the brand slightly worse.

But nineteen resentments might be worth one conversion at scale, and I genuinely don't know which side wins.

I've seen tasteful ones — a single question, a real discount, an honest "before you go, here's the one thing people miss." I've also seen the ones that cover the whole screen and trap you in a scroll.

Do you use them, and if so, what offer actually earns the interruption instead of feeling like a scam?