How do you motivate your teammate when they're frustrated?
Harris Cheng
73 replies
Replies
Kirsten Nelson-de Búrca@kirstenndb
Folks here have already done a great job of covering scenarios in which only one teammate, i.e. not you, is frustrated.
Being realistic, a teammate being frustrated could also mean that you’re frustrated too and find it hard to prioritise them and their feelings!
It’s likely that that is the case if you’re early stage/not hitting goals, but can happen in a tonne of scenarios as we are all human.
Personally, I find it best to take time out, a 5-minute walk or calling it a day early that day to reflect first, before jumping into emotional, unclear conversations.
What I’ve learned is most important in my journey is giving processing of thoughts time and ensuring reactions are occur slowly and deliberately.
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Everybody got ups and downs, and I think it's the founder's responsibility to help teammates get back to their best selves and feel good about their work.
Frustration, according to my experience, is the most common in 2 scenarios, (1) personal issues and (2) not achieving small successes for too long.
How do you usually motivate your teammate, be it your co-founder or employee, when they feel frustrated?
I first try to understand what's going on. Once I know what's bothering them, I can offer some support and encouragement. I might share a story about a time when I was frustrated and how I overcame it. Or, I might offer to help them brainstorm solutions to their problem. The most important thing is to be there for them and let them know that you believe in them,
Offering support and understanding, setting clear goals, providing resources to overcome obstacles, and celebrating small successes can really boost a teammate's morale when they're feeling frustrated.
Listen to them... find out the reasons and try to give them some direction. Sometimes just listening is enough
@cyriljeet agree. And have a 1:1 conversation each month. Let them pick a topic that’s either about their job, growth, communication or goals. Mainly listen as said and take action were needed
I will listen and support him and help him find a solution to his frustrations :)
I remind them of their past wins, the times they rocked it. It's like our team's highlight reel, and I'm the hype-person. Plus, a little office meme face-off (even virtual) never hurt anyone. We're in this together, and we'll get through the tough patches, high-fiving our way to success! 🎉
The first thing to do in any situation like this - hear the person out. what's causing the frustration? Is it the nature of the work, is it a situation at home, is it the colleagues who they are working with?
Wanting to understand the person on the other side goes a long way to resolving the issue. Bringin an outside-in perspective on the nature of the problem by framing it is the start of how you go about helping.
I listen, crack a lame joke and/or give my take on the problem - sometimes these two are the same - and help them move on.
Nobody is perfect and nothing is that easy in terms of work. We are all different and may struggle with various stuff. Besides, it is worth acknowledging that it is just work, some aspect of our life. If something goes wrong, this means you do something, which is definitely better than staying in one place. If one is frustrated, just keep going and handle everything you can face. Or ask for help if can't cope with something by yourself.
@eugeniya_zabolotnaya yes, if it's our own issues, sometimes seeking for professional help like a psychologist is nothing to be shameful of!
@harrischh I mainly mean that it should be okay in corporate culture to ask for help from your colleagues or management. One shouldn't die in the pile of tasks if anything makes one frustrated (if it is not a constant behavior of course, then it is a sign that there must be some changes).
Listen, empathize, share your own experience when you're facing the same obstacle and offer a solution.
Backing them up is the biggest support!
Just trust them even if things don't go your way. Everyone makes mistakes, so we need to make them feel comfortable. I'm sure they'll be driven themselves when you blindly trust them.
ps: This makes sense only when you know you've hired the right person and they're good at what they do
It depends on what kind of person they are: (1) they like talking to others and figure out the stuff, (2) they like being alone for sometime to figure out stuff themselves. As founders you have to figure which one they are and provide what they need: some alone time or someone to talk to.
I've noticed that in very small startups, the constant highs and lows can be hard to handle for some people. They'll quickly get overly frustrated or demotivated when something goes wrong (and many things will go wrong in something as ambiguous as a startup).
I think it helps to try to build a culture where we anticipate that things are going to go wrong and that what matters is how we handle issues, learn from them, and bounce back.
For me, it was important to understand my personal leadership-style. Being authentic in those situations is a huge factor to get them out of these feelings.
I try to provide them with the resources they need to overcome frustration, this is in line with the style of servant-leadership. If there is an external reason for frustration, I try to create a shared vision for the future of the company. It really depends on the kind of frustration. But that is not the only way to go, just my approach.
listen deeply, without rushing to fix.
sometimes, space speaks volumes.
ask what they need, not what you assume.
show up, even in silence.
remember, storms pass; presence lasts.
growth hides in the cracks of frustration.
support their journey, not just the destination.
Sit them down, talk it out, find the root problem.
Imagine we're in a cozy coffee shop, and your teammate's got a stormy cloud above their head. What I'd do is whip up a cup of "Motivational Mocha" – a blend of empathy, understanding, and a sprinkle of humor. I'd pull up a chair, share a relatable story of a time I battled frustration, and we'd have a laugh. Then, armed with a whiteboard and colorful markers, we'd sketch out a plan to conquer the challenges together, erasing that cloud and leaving with a cup full of motivation!
On one hand, let them know it is alright, and I got their back, and encourage do some other work that is a bit more fun, but still productive!
@harrischh
Yeah yeah! Launching here soon too, but deepen is already available to download on the appstores