Looking for feedback on cold outreach email

Mateusz Grzegorzek
3 replies
Hello, I'm planning to build a waiting list for my upcoming product. And the idea is to create a list of recently updated apps and reach out to them via support/info emails. Can you tell me what you think about this email? Is it interesting? Would you open it up / reply? --- Subject: Looking for feedback on how you engage with your app users? Hello , I hope this email finds you well! I wanted to reach out because I saw you recently updated your app and I’m looking for some feedback on a new service for mobile app creators. With appbite.io you can publish release notes or promo messages, create new feature popups and get feedback on the news you publish - everything integrated easily in your app. The goal of the service is to improve communication with your audience, get better conversions and improve the experience of your customers. I noticed that doesn't have a 'What's New' section and I'm wondering if you'd be interested in such a service? You can get more details here: https://www.appbite.io I’m planning to launch a closed beta program in early March, so if this sounds interesting I can add you to the list. Just let me know in the reply. Thanks and all the best in 2020!

Replies

CCO
Hi! For me 2 things didn't match well. 1st the title is a bit long. 2nd the first paragraph and second paragraph doesn't match well. Second for me sound for me as an ad, so in real life I will not continue to read.
Turning ideas into working mobile apps
@mariam_rustamyan Thanks a log for your feedback. You're right :) It's much easier for me to be a developer than copywriter but need to up my game here.
Tech enthusiast working in marketing
Hi Mateusz, The subject line is definitely quite long and already sales-y. The email sounds very formal, and very selling. I am missing something that would caught my attention, some buzz or excitement around what you are creating.