From a systems perspective: should AI coaches optimize for comfort or correction?
Hey PH 👋 We’re building LoveActually.ai, an AI matchmaker launching soon. I wanted to share a technical dilemma we ran into and hear how other builders think about it. Most conversational AI systems are tuned to be supportive and agreeable. From an engineering standpoint, that’s a reasonable default — it minimizes risk. But in our dating use case, that tuning caused a failure mode: the system...
The hardest part of building an AI matchmaker wasn’t the model
The hardest part of building an AI matchmaker wasn’t the model. It was deciding what not to optimize. From an engineering perspective, it’s very easy to make a dating product look “alive”: more swipes, more matches, more notifications. The harder problem was building systems that could: – tolerate silence – slow down recommendations – and still be confident in a match We spent a surprising...
We built an AI matchmaker that optimizes for relationships, not swipes
Hey PH 👋 I’m the CTO at LoveActually. I’ve spent most of my career building recommendation systems, and dating apps have always bothered me from an engineering standpoint. Most of them are optimized for engagement: swipe more, match more, keep you coming back. But very few are built to help two people actually build something that lasts. That frustration is why we built LoveActually. What we...
