Ever been ghosted in business or you ghost yourself?

Aleksandra Sztemberg
10 replies
Curious about the common ghosting, I made a research and found out that people from Tinder generation (where ghosting became a normal thing), then bring it into the professional life. We all know scenarios when everything goes great with a potential client, almost signing the deal and this person ghosts us without any explanation. Feels like being dumped after a few dates indeed. This can be very frustrating when you are building a product and every feedback is worth more than gold. Do you experience this kind of ghosting or you ghost others yourself? If you do, why? 👻👻👻


Mr Ethar Alali
Yes, definitely agree on the first point! Ghosting is a huge problem in a lot of areas and has gotten worse as time has gone on. That said, it did exist even before my time. Business owners can string you along to get as much of your expertise as possible, before then stealing your idea. Also, some work seekers have done this, which I found surprising! Especially on sites like Indeed. The workers will submit an application, arrange and interview then never attend. You call them up and they feign ignorance. On both counts, this makes them a really bad worker! I'd say keep a blacklist. You can some across them again in your ecosystem, so need to have notes to refer back to. Especially if they have stolen an idea from you.
Aleksandra Sztemberg
@ethar_alali Thanks for your feedback. It is a plague indeed in the recruitment process, I think for both sides, the employees and job seekers. It's a good idea to keep a black list, but I guess the lesson is to not give away too much too early.
Ghosting is a phenomenon of the affluent society. Only those who can afford it disappear like a ghost. Two people who meet in a desert, one has water, the other a map - they do not ghost each other. Well, now we have arrived there. How do we deal with it? Being ghosted is hurtful and in extreme cases even dangerous, because you have relied on human loyalty that was not given. The answer lies in the attraction of communities of integrity. The integrity of the community comes from its value creation. The higher the attractiveness and value creation of the community, the less someone says goodbye like a ghost, because he burns his name in the community, possibly forever. Of course, if you meet in a darkroom of a club, then ghosting may be part of the concept. If someone ghosted you and this hurts you, it might tell you something about your community concept. Are the selection processes how people come to the community reliable? How attractive is the community you represented at the incident? This is exactly what the ghost thinks about before they start ghosting.
Aleksandra Sztemberg
@timz_flowers Thanks for your insightful answer! Your point "Only those who can afford it disappear like a ghost." makes sense indeed! I wouldn't go so far to call it painful, mostly curious about this phenomenon, as I hear similar stories more and more often. My take away is usually that it wasn't a good match, however I myself am committed to giving feedback and a constructive "no" to the parties I cooperate with. I think it takes courage and hope, in the long run, it will set a good precedent :)
@aleksandraszte2 yes, integrity as a generic attitude is getting more important, when times are getting more dangerous - so I absolutely applaud your idea of a good precedent
Valerie Fenske
I've never heard of ghosting - so thank you Aleksandra for sharing this I believe I experienced that... and did it myself. Though it was always accompanied by a bit uncomfortable feeling. Ghosting in B2B sales with five figures deals was my nightmare hehehe And probably the reason why I left that job.
Aleksandra Sztemberg
@valeryfenskaya Thanks for sharing Valerie! It is uncomfortable indeed, I figured that actually a constructive "no" gives a more refreshing feeling :) Maybe as more people will feel this way, giving feedback will become a new phenomenon.