Still Health is the Inactivity Optimizer: a fitness app that tracks stillness instead of steps. Press Start, sit down. It measures the session on real motion data, keeps it alive through phone sleep, and awards trophies for sitting. Premium adds the league: teams, standings, and WEEKLY HONORS for each team's stillest member every Monday. The joke is played straight; every number on screen is real. Free to track. Basic $4.99 once. Premium $4.99/mo or $24.99/yr (7-day trial on yearly).
