tethr

Hi there, my name is Matt and a year and a half ago I was suicidal and couldn't get out of bed. My best friend had just passed away suddenly and I felt completely lost in the world. I went into a deep depression, went on mental health leave from work, and tried everything from therapy to medication to experimental treatments. I also felt like I was weak because of what I was going through. I felt like, as a man, I shouldn't struggle or be able to overcome my struggle by myself. This outdated belief that a man had to be self-reliant, unemotional, and problem free made it hard to get the help I needed and speak openly about what I was going through. I felt isolated, alone, and like I didn't really matter in the world. For me, it wasn't until I went to a men's peer support group that I actually started to get a little bit better. For the first time in my life I was able to actually speak openly about what I was going through with other men and they made me feel safe expressing what I was going through without any of the shame and stigma I expected when I first joined. This was a huge breakthrough for me because for the first time I was able to actually speak with a group of men who felt the same way I did. Just knowing that I wasn't alone was incredibly liberating for me and I kept going to the group weekly. This started in November 2018. In April 2019, I went on a men's retreat in the US and again I had this incredibly profound experience where I connected with a group of 60 men who were going through the same things I was. I had been waking up with panic attacks every day for 10 months and the morning after the first evening of the retreat was the first time in 10 months that I woke up in peace and could just lay in bed. I got back from that weekend retreat on a Monday, sat down at my desk at work (I had returned by this time) and realized I couldn't work in finance anymore. I quit my job on the Wednesday and went out in search of something more meaningful for me. On my search I realized there were so few online spaces where men could share openly with each other (as themselves), receive support from each other, and heal together. That was where my inspiration came from for building tethr (www.tethr.men) - a peer enabled mental health and support community for anyone that identifies as a man. I wanted to share it with everyone here to receive feedback and in case there are other men out there struggling and looking for a community where they can finally get the support they need. The reason for keeping it for men only is because I've found that women actually support each other quite naturally and that men have a hard time building supportive peer relationships. There also tend to be certain things that men want to speak about with other men who can provide lived experience or empathize with the situation - much like it is natural for women to do the same thing about certain issues. The space is meant to be safe and supportive and you can find on the app store (Android coming in the coming months). We'd love your support on Product Hunt and we'd be honored if you feel like this project is worth sharing with your friends, family, and broader community. Feel free to leave your comments below. I will respond to every message I receive.