Not Jony Ive

The greatest designer in the universe since Dieter Rams and inventor of minimaluminiumalism

THIS CHAT HAPPENED ON July 04, 2017

Discussion

not Jony Ive@jonyiveparody · Chief Design Officer, Apple
I am Jony Ive, the greatest designer in the universe since Dieter Rams and inventor of minimaluminiumalism. Today, Apple reinvents Product Hunt Live. Join me for a live Q&A session about Apple, design, tech, and Twitter. This will be the greatest chat that we have ever done, and we think you're going to love it (PARODY, not affiliated with Apple.)
Niv Dror@nivo0o0 · Words @ProductHunt & @AngelList
Hello Jony, what's in like being locked in a white room during all the Apple Events, and do you plan to ever come out / present a product on stage? Thank you Sir for your time.
not Jony Ive@jonyiveparody · Chief Design Officer, Apple
@nivo0o0 Being locked inside my white room during Apple events is the greatest part of the entire event, as it ensures I do not have to spend any time speaking with customers and listening to their nonsensical "feedback".
gabibartok@bartokgabi17
@nivo0o0 @jonyiveparody Hi Jony Pano panay its your father
gabibartok@bartokgabi17
@nivo0o0 @jonyiveparody I mean Surface and Surface
gabibartok@bartokgabi17
@nivo0o0 @jonyiveparody Surface all the things
Héctor Macías@hectormca90 · Web developer
What happened here?
Rohan Patel@rohan_patel2
@hectormca90 Apparently he ignored this
not Jony Ive@jonyiveparody · Chief Design Officer, Apple
@hectormca90 ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ #OneMoreThing
Giacomo Lawrance@giacomolaw · Author of thenerdystudent.com
@hectormca90 More like what happened here:
Richard Kashdan@richard_kashdan
@hectormca90 If you can’t use your Mac without a mouse for a few minutes while it charges, then you’re a pussy and should use Windows.
not Jony Ive@jonyiveparody · Chief Design Officer, Apple
@hectormca90 The greatest mouse that we have ever done. It's an honour and a privilege to use such a revolutionary device, you ungrateful bastard.
Ben Tossell@bentossell · newCo
What is the benefit of being hidden behind a fake profile?
not Jony Ive@jonyiveparody · Chief Design Officer, Apple
@bentossell It prevents Tim from storming into my white room and yelling at me for the things that I say. "What can I say, Tim!? It's obviously not me!" (Lies)
Ryan Rucker@ryankrucker · Co-Founder, Charmer
What are some non-Apple products that you love and gain inspiration from?
not Jony Ive@jonyiveparody · Chief Design Officer, Apple
@ryankrucker See: Dieter Rams' entire collection.
Ben Tossell@bentossell · newCo
How do you have time to maintain an Internet personality?
not Jony Ive@jonyiveparody · Chief Design Officer, Apple
@bentossell By removing as many ports as possible from all our incredible products. I spend less time accommodating for them in case designs, and can now spend more time on Twitter.
Vyacheslav Beda@vyacheslav_beda
Hello Jony!How to answer no to bad design ideas?
not Jony Ive@jonyiveparody · Chief Design Officer, Apple
@vyacheslav_beda Be honest. Say NO. Explain why the idea is bad to the client. If they persist, it's really up to you to decide whether or not to proceed, as they are ultimately paying for it. I have refused projects that I know are bad because I don't feel that working on a design project that is DOA is fulfilling.
Neelabh Singh@neelabh2006 · Founder, App Disciple
A lot of developers don't get design! What are the basics about design that any developer should know? Any blogs/ books you recommend?
not Jony Ive@jonyiveparody · Chief Design Officer, Apple
@neelabh2006 Note necessarily developer specific, but essential reads: Designing Brand Identity by Alina Wheeler, Underconsideration.com/brandnew, Thinking With Type by Ellen Lupton.
Duarte Martins@duarteosrm · Founder, thenoocoffee.com
Neelabh Singh@neelabh2006 · Founder, App Disciple
@duarteosrm @jonyiveparody answered my question. I still can't believe it I had a chat with Jony Ive! The pleasure is all mine :)
Nolan McCoy@nolanmccoy · Film Producer, Storyteller, Husband
If you recycled all the aluminium you’ve had in your possession over the years, how rich do you think you’d be?
not Jony Ive@jonyiveparody · Chief Design Officer, Apple
@nolanmccoy I would buy Australia. I've always wanted my own island.
Kunal Bhatia@kunalslab · Co-founder & Design Lead @SlidesUp
How many takes does it take you to do 3-minute Apple video?
not Jony Ive@jonyiveparody · Chief Design Officer, Apple
@kunalslab One. Everything I do is perfect from the very beginning.
Kamiyar Sanau@kamiyar_sanau
If you had hair, what hairstyle would you choose? Color?
Rafael Anastacio Alves@rafaelalves · Developer
@kamiyar_sanau maybe he should share some concept art
Rafael Camargo@rcamargo · Developer
Will apple launch a TV that is made of a thin sheet of glass only and has controls that will change the way we interact with TV forever?
not Jony Ive@jonyiveparody · Chief Design Officer, Apple
@rcamargo Not until we have patented it, but you can't afford it anyway.
Leonardo M Jaques@leoojaques · Brazil, 23. Crypto & Social Impact.
What would you do if in the present time you were in your twenties wanting to land a job at Apple?
not Jony Ive@jonyiveparody · Chief Design Officer, Apple
@leoojaques I accept bribes.
Nolan McCoy@nolanmccoy · Film Producer, Storyteller, Husband
When you try to make something out of nothing, where do you start?
not Jony Ive@jonyiveparody · Chief Design Officer, Apple
@nolanmccoy I would never try to make something out of nothing. I always try to make something out of aluminium and/or glass. Start there.
Austin Truchan@austintruchan
How do you pronounce minimaluminiumalism?
not Jony Ive@jonyiveparody · Chief Design Officer, Apple
@austintruchan With a sexy British accent.
Austin Truchan@austintruchan
Is it true that the iPhone 8 will actually just be called "Phone Plus Pro" ?
not Jony Ive@jonyiveparody · Chief Design Officer, Apple
@austintruchan "The New iPhone"
Benji Debnam@goo · Doodler of thoughts
What do you use to keep your head so shiny? Can you share a product innovation video with us to show your fine grained and meticulous approach?
not Jony Ive@jonyiveparody · Chief Design Officer, Apple
@goo Years of reading our customers' design "feedback" and criticism and pulling out all my hair has made me the handsome devil I am today.
Benji Debnam@goo · Doodler of thoughts
@jonyiveparody exceptional
Mike Coutermarsh@mscccc · Code @ GitHub
How long did it take you to pick that shade of green in iMessage for android users? Why does it have such an effect on my soul?
Kunal Bhatia@kunalslab · Co-founder & Design Lead @SlidesUp
@mscccc sorry in advance for being a greenie!
not Jony Ive@jonyiveparody · Chief Design Officer, Apple
@mscccc I wanted to pick a variant of green that was so bright and unappealing to the eyes that it was just easier to block the phone numbers of Android users rather than accept their messages in the first place.
Aen Tan@helloaentancom
What keeps you inspired lately?
not Jony Ive@jonyiveparody · Chief Design Officer, Apple
@aentan Counting the days until my retirement.
Nolan McCoy@nolanmccoy · Film Producer, Storyteller, Husband
When approaching the “creative process”, what rules or guidelines do you practice to help yourself be as creative as possible.
not Jony Ive@jonyiveparody · Chief Design Officer, Apple
@nolanmccoy I think it is important to socialise with other designers (meet ups, that sort of thing), as well as see what others are doing creatively. Not necessarily to copy or see what is "trendy", but just to see what is out there and perhaps be inspired or at least aware. I spend a fair amount of time perusing Behance profiles because I enjoy seeing others' design work, especially the things I know I probably could not do myself.
Lalit Salunkhe@lalit_salunkhe
@jonyiveparody do you follow someone on behance or dribbble? :)