Jerry Colonna
Founder coach and CEO of Reboot
Discussion
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Jerry Colonna
@jerrycolonna · ceo, reboot.io
Hi...I'm Jerry. I tend to spend a lot of time thinking about the intersection between "who we are" and "what we do." I work with folks who find that intersection terrifying, challenging, exciting and, ultimately, gratifying. I became a coach, partially to save others from the kind of crazy life I found myself living and partially because I love meaningful and real conversation. Sometimes I say smart things. Sometimes I say stupid things. On the whole, I try for more of the former and less of the latter. Oh, and I'm the CEO of Reboot.io where we offer a twice-monthly podcast, coaching services, bootcamps, facilitated peer support groups and other stuff all designed to make folks feel less alone.
We've already begun sharing.
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Zack Shapiro
@zackshapiro · Head of Mobile at Splash
@jerrycolonna What's the best way to shake all of the "shoulds?" For example, "I should be further along in my career." Or "I should making money/starting a company/etc. like {insert person or acquaintance here}"
They're loud and super-distracting. Is having a mission in your work the best way to drown those out? Or maybe practicing bringing the focus back to the present moment?
Thanks for doing the AMA!
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Jerry Colonna
@jerrycolonna · ceo, reboot.io
@zackshapiro You're welcome. I wish I could type faster. :) Or should I say, "I SHOULD be able to type faster. What's wrong with me? I'm such a loser. Folks here are going to have this terrible time with this AMA and then they'll see I'm a fraud, probably stop listening to my podcasts, and then I'll have no clients. And then I'll be broke and wandering the streets, a laughing stock..." Oh wait. I think I know what you mean by "loud and distracting." ;)
So this is counter-intuitive...don't try to drown them out. Think of them as the voices of people (or a person) trying to keep you safe. Trying to keep you safe, warm, and happy. As Dan Putt will attest, I recommend then blowing that person or those people kisses. Thank them for trying to keep you safe, warm, and happy. And then let them know that "You've got it." You don't need to be told what you "should" be doing any more. You're an adult.
Ryan Hoover
@rrhoover · Founder, Product Hunt
Hi, Jerry! This interview with you and @Jason on TWiST is one of the best discussions on the emotional challenges and depression those starting a company face:
Non-founders face the same struggles but the biggest difference is that founders can't really leave, which emphasizes the importance of choosing to build something you're passionate to pursue for a ~decade. What advice do you have for those wanting to start a company, especially when the emotional stress many founders face is entirely foreign to them?
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Jerry Colonna
@jerrycolonna · ceo, reboot.io
jason
@jason · ceo, writer, event host & angel
@jerrycolonna @rrhoover perhaps my personal favorite episode... we went there.
Andreas Mitschke
@andmitsch · I own a computer
@rrhoover thanks for that video... thank you so much!
Positivity Dan
@positivitydan · n/a
@jerrycolonna How do you think about helping people "open up" about their feelings? How do you frame the benefits of these types of conversations?
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Jerry Colonna
@jerrycolonna · ceo, reboot.io
@positivitydan The issue isn't really about how "open" people are as much as it is about authentic people are. Being authentic is scary but in the end easier. First, others respond well to it. And second, more important, faking it, as I'm found of saying, is fucking exhausting.
Tanya McGinnity
@tanmcg
What kinds of things do you think that founders / entrepreneurs need to 'unlearn' in order to truly live and work authentically?
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Jerry Colonna
@jerrycolonna · ceo, reboot.io
@tanmcg Most important is to stop thinking that there's one right way to be, or to lead. There's only one choice: Your way. So learn from those you admire. Emulate aspects of their style. But find your own genuine heart of leadership and take your seat.
Tanya McGinnity
@tanmcg
@jerrycolonna Do you find that many more from the startup space are moving towards Buddhism, mindfulness or contemplative practices? Why do you think this is? What are the pros/cons you are seeing from this for both the organizations, the employers and employees.
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Jerry Colonna
@jerrycolonna · ceo, reboot.io
@tanmcg I think there are a lot of folks who are fed up with the systems as they are...the "playbook" if you will that we've all been handed and which all feels inadequate. The wider interest in showing differently is not only showing up in startups but in the broader work world. (I'll be speaking, btw, at the Mindful Leadership Summit in Washington, DC on November 7. Many of the folks who are trying to bring these practices into the corporate world will be there...many of my teachers.) I think the interest stems mainly from the dissatisfaction of the way things are. There's this underlying (and essentially correct) view that there has to be a better way. Our current ways induce too much existential violence, too much suffering. WRT to pros and cons...the only con I see is that people may prey to what some teachers have defined as "spiritual materialism"--supplanting an interest in and dedication to career advancement with a similar obsession in mindfulness or Buddhism.
Erik Torenberg
@eriktorenberg · Former Product Hunt
Jerry! Welcome :)
What's surprised you most since launching the podcast?
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Jerry Colonna
@jerrycolonna · ceo, reboot.io
@eriktorenberg Two things...How open people would be in sharing what's really in their hearts and the universal support for such openness. I guess a third thing...how great a partner Dan Putt is (and how sexy his voice is). ;) https://www.reboot.io/podcast?=ph
Tanya McGinnity
@tanmcg
Who would you say have been the trailblazers in this space for personal inquiry? Who set the stage for the work that you do currently?
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Jerry Colonna
@jerrycolonna · ceo, reboot.io
@tanmcg Oh my...so many folks. The two that pop into my mind first are Ani Pema Chodron, the Buddhist nun, and my dear friend and mentor Parker Palmer. I remember being blown away by Parker's open and authentic description of his struggles with depression (in Let Your Life Speak). Reading that section changed the way I viewed my own feelings...it enabled me to see myself as merely human, albeit one who was in pain, and not as someone who was inherently broken.
Legendum Ltd
@legendum_ltd · Kevin, MD, Legendum Ltd
@jerrycolonna how do I find a productive balance between work and family whereby family don't grind me down with wants/needs, so I can commit energy/effort to ventures?
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Jerry Colonna
@jerrycolonna · ceo, reboot.io
@legendum_ltd Ah yes...the work-life balance is...so my famous blog post is called "Work-Life Balance is Bullshit." http://www.themonsterinyourhead....
Basically the goal should be a well-integrated life where the inner and the outer play together and reflect a coherence. Parker Palmer's concept of a life "Divided No More" also comes to mind. The issue is learning create coherence and resonance in all that you do. So that when you work, work; when you play, play; and when you're making love, don't answer email.
Mat Ellis
@matellis
Why do people cry when they talk to you? By this I mean, what's REALLY going on when this emotion pours out?
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Jerry Colonna
@jerrycolonna · ceo, reboot.io
@matellis Hey there...I think it's a function of people feeling that they are being listened to, really heard. Often times it's the first time that someone has taken a genuine and heartfelt interest in what they have to say. Moreover, I think that behind so much of what we do is, what one of my teachers called The Genuine Heart of Sadness (http://tzal.org/dharma-chogyam-t...). We all walk around with these deep wounds. We are socialized to gloss them over. Then when we encounter someone who is curious, judgmental and caring, we break open. There's an old saying that God places the words of the Torah "on" our hearts so that when the heart breaks open, the words can tumble in. I like that.