Amber Rae
Artist & Storyteller creating a global dialogue around wonder, creativity and the human experience
Discussion
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Amber Rae
@amber_rae
Ever ponder: Who am I? Why am I here? What's the purpose of this all? Me too. My name is Amber Rae, and I'm a writer and artist devoted to exploring life's biggest questions. I've always been curious about our internal landscape, why we do the things we do, the role of fear in the creative process, and how to align our gifts with the work that brings us alive. I'm excited to see what questions you have in store. Fire away! xo, Amber
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Nik Sharma
@mrsharma · Stealth Ad Agency CEO
Hi Amber! Thanks for doing a PH Live! Here's my question: What's the coolest thing, in your opinion, about how story telling has changed over the years? It used to be a lot of long-form content, and now micro-content is pushed heavier. How has that changed the way you do your storytelling? Thanks!
@mrsharma Hey Nik! My pleasure. I LOVE this question. The thing I love most about how storytelling has changed is that it feels like we’re now immersed in the journey — the ebbs, the flows, the highs, the lows — versus just the final product. Long-form pieces (or any piece of creative output) can take days or weeks or months, and micro-content has the opportunity to show the real and raw behind-the-scenes process that leads up to the final product. For me, that’s wildly exciting because it allows me a moment of introspection each day to cherish the here and now, while also keeping it real about what it takes to get from start to finish.
Nik Sharma
@mrsharma · Stealth Ad Agency CEO
@heyamberrae Thank you!! You the real MVP! Even tweeted it to make it official ;)
Liz Flores
@liz_flores · Artist
Hey Amber! When projects have fallen through and things have not gone well, what strategies or questions or rituals do you use to pick yourself up and not fall down the rabbit hole of "I'm not good enough"? xo!
@liz_flores I see the worry of "I'm not good enough" and I wonder about it. "Can that be true?" ... "Am I sure that's true?" ... "Where is that worry coming from?" ... "What one thing can I do RIGHT NOW to get closer to what's most important to me?"
I also really allow myself to feel the sadness and the pain. I've gone down the path of being a "silver lining-aholic" or avoiding how something really made me feel. That only creates a void or propels action out of fear. I'll make myself some tea, grab my journal, and let myself have space to feel into and express the pain I'm feeling. (Some of my most raw creativity actually comes from that place.)
I also, as difficult as it is, aim to not attach myself to the outcome and how others receive my creativity. It's a marathon, and the more hung up I get about what doesn't work out, or what other people don't like, the less space I have to step into what I can't yet predict or imagine.
Jonny Miller
@jonnym1ller · Cofounder @Maptia
@heyamberrae I love your seemingly endless stoke and optimism for life, thanks for doing this! I have a couple of questions...
1) You once wrote that you have come to realise that ‘the pursuit of happiness isn’t good enough’ but that the pursuit of truth is lasting and that it is this that ‘urges you to adjust your life accordingly.’ That's one hell of an insight! I'm curious to hear how this realisation helped you decide and prioritise how you spend your time?
2) I'm a huge fan of #TheWorldWeWant movement (and would love to help start one here in Brighton UK)... you said that since starting the project and asking strangers some of these big questions, that their answers really surprised you. How so? (stories please!)
@jonnym1ller Hey Jonny! Good to see you here.
1) That's one hell of a question! Happiness is fleeting and shifting. For me, aligning with the truth within me goes deeper. It's having a core truth and set of values to drive me, and then making decisions from that place. It's digging deeper and deeper to unearth a rawness within that terrifies me. It's peeling back the layers that I've unconsciously taken on from society, and continually inquiring into whether or not those feel true for me. It's a constant and ongoing inner/inquiry process complemented with an outer/experimental process. My truth may change over time, but my devotion to that which is true for me is unwavering.
2) YES, PLEASE! (To starting one.) Going to keep going with questions below and come back to stories, if there's time!
Jacqueline von Tesmar
@jacqvon · Community, Product Hunt ✌️😻
Where is one place you want to visit that you haven't been before?
@jacqvon Hmmmm. The first place that came to mind is Iran because my fiancé was born there, and moved to the states when he was 3. And it's only VERY recently that the entrance policies are shifting...
farhad attaie
@farhadini
@heyamberrae @jacqvon I can't wait to go there with @amber and bring the world we want to IRAN!
Erik Torenberg
@eriktorenberg · Former Product Hunt
Amber! Thank you so much for joining <3.
What are some of the biggest questions you're asking now in life?
@eriktorenberg Why do we worry? Where does worry come from? How is worry impacting our lives, our health and our relationships? How does the brain relate to worry? What are some tangible examples of how worry holds us back? How can we navigate self-sabotage? (A LOT ON WORRY HAHA.) Also: Is our current relationship with time holding us back? What does it look like to “embrace slow” and what benefits does it hold for our speedy society? How does what we consume -- be in thoughts, food, information, technology, or noise -- influence our health and well-being?
Also a lot on synchronicity... Do events happen by chance, or is everything happening as part of some divine order? // I actually have a WHOLE DOCUMENT OF QUESTIONS. Podcast in the works to explore these more deeply...
Alaya Morning
@alayamorning · Life Coach
@heyamberrae @eriktorenberg That is a podcast I want to listen to!
Erik Torenberg
@eriktorenberg · Former Product Hunt
What's something you used to strongly believe about romantic love that you now see as fundamentally misguided?
@eriktorenberg Oooo. I like this question.
1) Love comes from outside of myself. Thinking that a relationship would fill a void I felt inside of myself. I first had to tune inward to that void, understand where it came from, and create practices for loving myself. There's this notion of self-care or loving yourself that can be seen as "selfish" but I see it as the most selfless and loving thing we can do for the world. When we are kind and compassionate to ourselves, we can fully show up as that for the world around us.
2) I need to fix or solve the other person's problems, and if I don't, I'm not useful or valuable in the relationship. THIS HAS BEEN SO HARD FOR ME!!! When @Farhadini struggles, it pains me, and my own personal discomfort with that pain can propel me to come up with powerpoint plans for how we can navigate the situation. He doesn't need me to problem solve (he's plenty good at that), and it's only caused us suffering. What he wants is for me to hold space, be there, and listen. It took me a long ass time to realize that just doing that was enough.
@alayamorning Hi Alaya! Good to see your face here. I LOVE THIS QUESTION. 1) We create the space to hear ourselves, and what feels true for us. 2) We test it through action. 3) We reflect. 4) We repeat.
@alayamorning My speaking coach KC Baker has a great practice around this, which I've been testing, and I'm going to go ahead and copy/paste here:
"Eventually, I developed a reliable method for making decisions. I use it nearly every day.
I imagine a spot on the floor that represents one choice I could make (perhaps a big goblet of red wine) and another choice (perhaps this one is the option of NOT making that choice, or an alternate choice, like a sparkling water with lime). I then stand on each choice and see what happens in my body. If I have any contraction, I’m a no. If I feel that flow of life and beauty through my body, then it’s a yes. I do not get into processing about it or thinking about it. I just go with it.
This can be done with every day decisions around food or requests for your time and energy (like whether to go on that lunch date or speak on that telesummit), or major life decisions about whether to write that book or have that baby or stay in that relationship or whatever.
That does not mean that you’re always going to feel hunky-dory about every piece of YES guidance you receive. While the truth always feels good, it can absolutely lead you into feeling grief about whatever you are leaving behind, or terror about what you are stepping into. But… I find I rest more easily in knowing some benevolent force is supporting me and guiding me.
The more I trust my information and then follow it up by making a choice aligned with that flow of openness and wellbeing… well, all kinds of amazing things happen. I trust myself more. My intuition gets stronger. Doors open. My life becomes more aligned with the truth of who I am." http://kcbaker.com/blog/2016/02/...
Alaya Morning
@alayamorning · Life Coach
@heyamberrae Love this! I often try to skip the test/action phase. ;-) Thanks!
Susan Ng
@shalalasusan
Hi Amber! Thank you for your time. :) Even after experiencing success, how do you quiet/silence the voice of self-doubt?
@shalalasusan The voice of self-doubt shows up EVERY SINGLE DAY, and I see it as an ally. Self-doubt reflects love and curiosity, and what I truly and deeply care about. If I'm asking "Am I really an artist?" or "Can I really do that?" or "Am I ready to get on stage?" chances are, it's exactly what I must do. When I look at anything meaningful I've ever done, there's always an ocean of self-doubt that required me to dip in my toe, feel it out, and eventually dive in. Not having self-doubt feels way more scary to me, as that'd indicate I don't care enough or I'm not diving deep enough to pull up the best treasure possible.
Also. I talk to it! I think of the two voices in my head as "Worry" and "Wonder" and when Worry is taking over and Wonder is hiding in the corner, I'll talk to Worry and let her know that I see and hear her fears and concerns, and that Wonder has our back. Worry is usually terrified of being seen, and so I have to hold her hand a little bit, and remind her that Wonder is the muse and driver of our ship.
Rajiv Borar
@rajivborar
It's difficult to figure who we really are, why we are here and what is the purpose of our life. Because life never stops, it's just like time, which keeps changing every moment. A story has some interesting facts and a good ending but in life the patience to wait for a good end lacks. How is one suppose to overcome all the thoughts which one gets that oneself doesn't understand what is this all about?