How do you manage to relax without feeling guilty for doing that?
Yeshaswini
32 replies
For those who are in full-time jobs and also working on their side projects how do you manage to squeeze time out to relax? What is the right amount of "me-time" if you are constantly feeling guilty for taking that time out in the first place.
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Camilla Chesham@camilla_chesham
I am random, as some days I am super productive, and others I am fighting against the waves. So. Many. Factors. Can't A/B test. Cry in shame. But on a serious note, I each person is unique and some days when you are on a 'roll' you have to, well, roll with it! Then other days learn to accept that it's not your day and use some time to relax. I just found that trying to create a ridged schedule did not work for me, but I think a daily commitment is realistic for most people for X hours, just don't beat yourself up when you stray from the schedule!
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@camilla_chesham This is so relatable, Camilla! Thanks for sharing. It feels as though everyone has it all together and figured out. Your comment makes me feel a tad bit better :)
@yeshaswini no worries! Glad you could relate, sometimes I think people over INSTA-filter their lives and it makes others feel rubbish, the reality is, we all struggle!
You should never feel guilty for relax yourself. Without relax and rest there is no progress and creativity.
@jan_mazurek Totally agree with you. To get our work done properly we definitely need to have a calm mind so relaxing is definitely important.
@yeshaswini Basically while working I allocate some time for me to relax. Lets say 2 focus hours of work and then 10-15 min of break where you can just relaz or can do a little bit of stretching etc. May b it can help you as well..
@prerna_bagree This is useful and something I try to do too. Keeps me conscious of my bad posture haha
@jan_mazurek Thank you, Jan. I'd agree with that
What helps me is consciously designating time for that.
When I look at a week, I know that it is smart to get some high quality relaxation. So I might say: Tuesday evening starting from 8PM is ONLY for relaxation. When Tuesday evening comes I know that I made that conscious decision to relax and that I felt it would be a good thing to do when I made that decision, so I won't feel guilty.
@matthias_strodtkoetter in other words - You have a plan that you stick and try to keep it
@matthias_strodtkoetter That's a great tip. Thank you! I think that way the piled up need for relaxtion can be really put use :D
I measured my progress during the days where I didn't allow myself to relax and during the days where I did.
As soon as you realize that some brief relaxation is a necessary part of peak performance, the mind starts to see it as a means to get you to the desired result.
@slava_bobrov So true! If I am relaxed and happy, I get more done in a shorter amount of time. It took me a few years, but I am now at a point where I unapologetically take breaks when I need them. Sleep in if I need it, go for long walks or a run during the day, stop work at 4pm if I'm unproductive. That means that before and after those breaks, I am much more productive and get SO much more done. So, as Slava says, put it in perspective and you'll see that you get much more done when you're relaxed and happy.
@slava_bobrov That's incredible! Nothing that a little A/B testing can't solve :D
I'm in the boat of full-time job and side project that eats most of my free time. I try to set small goals and reward myself with a day off after finishing a goal if I start feeling a bit word down.
@tobiasgray That's great, Tobias! All the very best with your project.
Keep telling yourself that you deserve it.
If you're not taking care of your self, how can you take care of your family, work, side projects?
The best version of you will yield the best output of you into the World.
@shahalica That's something that I keep reminding myself. Thank you so much!
I normally take one hour before I go to sleep where I only do stuff that relaxes me and that I really like to do - f.e. listening to a podcast, read a book, take a shower to wash off the day or stretch a little while I focus on my breath. And sometimes it really helps to sit in the dark and just stare out the window :) I like that a lot
I can definitely relate to those feelings of guilt. A switch I have made recently that seems to be helping is narrowing the scope of the side projects I am working on. Prior to this I would be working on up to five side projects at any given moment. I whittled this down to one and have intentionally restricted myself from working on anything. Thus far the narrower focus and intentionally acknowledging that I'm not going to be able to get everything done has helped.
Plan your breaks and relaxing times in advance. Make a week plan. That will give you confidence when you are all the way into working mode.
Check out daycaptain.com which we built for doing this. ❤️
I also wrote a blog post on this: daycaptain.com/entries/why-planning.html
@philipp_brunenberg Thank you so much for sharing this, Philipp! I have signed up :D Will let you know how it worked for me.
Nope, never ever feel guilty for 'me time'. For side projects, assign the time you are able to give to that project (Thursday nights for example), maybe it's between 6am and 8am before work? But never ever compromise on 'you time'.
Seen it happen, for your mental and physical health look after it.
@richardesigns Thanks for that reminder, Richard! And that's a suggestion I can try implementing.
Ooh I was going to ask this here last week since I struggled with this. I found a solution that works.
1) Set designated work times and off times. I only work on weekdays and Saturday (or whatever you want) and set timings. Work during these hours so you don't feel guilty during the off hours.
2) Give yourself permission to take a break and relax. This is important. It will not work if you don't give yourself permission.
3) Be mindful of what you do when you work. Do not take in more than you can handle. It's a marathon not a sprint.
Creativity is a byproduct of relaxation bordering boredom. If you are not relaxed, you will feel a lot more guilty at an older age without knowing the reason why.
It's a question that I'm still curious about as well. Anyway,
I kept track of my development both on days when I gave myself permission to unwind and on days when I didn't. I also get massages to unwind. The mind begins to view some brief relaxation as a way to help you achieve the intended objective as soon as you recognize that it is important for optimal performance.