How do you handle rejection?
Chris Wray
8 replies
Last week, I was interviewed for a dream job (at least I thought it was) and was rejected for the position. It has been difficult to let go of, and I have dealt with fears/ discouragement. I feel like I am handling it okay, but wondering if you guys have ways that you've dealt with this kind of thing in the past?
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Maria Garcia Gerena@maria_garcia_gerena
Hello! I will start by asking myself : Was that my dream job? I find we get obsessed with an idea, with a version of us that is nothing to do with us. When I was 20 years old I thought I have lots the opportunity to have my dream job by arriving late to the interview, and now 10 years later I am so sure it was not my dream job at all.
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@maria_garcia_gerena That is a very good point. I am pretty happy with my current self employment position, and maybe this just was a distraction and I should just continue what I'm doing and be happy in it. (:
rejection is always hard, especially when its your "dream" job on the line.
After graduation I had 35+ interviews at 10+ companies range from startups to big corp. I knew for a fact that it wasn't my skills cuz I was better programmer than my peers at Uni who was accepted for companies like Intel and IBM. Most companies said NO to me after the 3rd or 4th interview with HR. So I knew it was something about "selling" myself and marketing myself in a better way, and that what I actually heard from one recruiter.
The hiring process is never really objective. So I would say the best thing you can do is seek feedback from those who said no. ask them why and try to work on that.
@jamalx31 Thanks so much.
To be honest. I really haven't tried applying to that many jobs, because I'm okay with my own company, but I really would like to be a part of a bigger team, so a job is a dream haha.
It was the first real interview I've ever had so maybe I shouldn't be so disappointed! 35 interviews would be extremely tough!!
What is the best way to ask for feedback? I did, and they kind of skirted around the question, and I thought maybe it was due to liability reasons.
Great question! Some rejection (eg in relationships) is personal and I don't have an answer for that. But I it's different to be "rejected" for jobs or investments. Or even when people don't like something you make. In those examples I've realized that most of the time it isn't personal. I've tried to accept that a lot of things have to fall into place to get a great job or an investment. Or to launch a successful product. And many of those things are outside my control. No question -, when we have our hopes or expectations up for something that isn't realized it can be discouraging.
Accepting that it's not personal and that part of it is outside my control has helped me move forward and not stay discouraged too long.
Also, if it's something you really want there are probably others that really want it also. I know many people who did 100 practice interviews before their big interview. And I know many people who have applied to hundreds of positions just to get a couple interviews. And like someone else said, there are a lot of people who do dozens of interviews before getting an offer. So it's more of a numbers game when there are so many factors you can't control...